Monthly Archives: June 2017

Turning the Other Cheek – with intent

They stood there. Stock still. Staring at each other in a barnyard Mexican stand-off. She had her lambs by her side but was otherwise alone. He stood between her and the other sheep, head down and ready to stop any movement toward the flock. I stood by the gate behind her.  He knew where she needed to go. She thought otherwise, especially with two lambs to protect. She knows he has teeth. He has been run off a field before by a crazed dog-hating sheep. They both know there is risk in turning away.

Occasionally I am a wise enough shepherd to stay silent, wait and let him find the moment when he can release his gaze to achieve his goal. And so I do this time. He turns his cheek and his gaze to the side, body still ready to block her at a moment’s notice. With the pressure of the gaze gone she pauses but a moment, turns and leads her lambs away from the flock and into the pen. He stands and watches until the gate is closed. The confrontation is over, peaceably and without drama. It is an art, this ability to release pressure to get the job done.

It seems counter-intuitive to let go in order to move towards the desired goal. At first when my dog would stop like this, I would encourage him to move in, to up the pressure and increase the conflict. There are times when that is indeed the right move. But I have come to understand that there are many times when the release of pressure is more effective. It provides a safe and graceful way out of the conflict for the sheep. And so more and more, I let the dog decide. After all, he is the one with paws on the ground and eye to eye with the sheep. They have a relationship – the dog and the sheep. He is their access to green pastures. Their cooperation makes his job easier. They both benefit from peaceful conflict resolution.

In sheep dog training as well as horse training,  pressure and its release is used to teach the animal what is right. Today on one of the training lists a trainer from Wales, Sue Main,  said “Pressure motivates but it is the release of that pressure that teaches.” Certainly the pressure on the sheep motivated her. Without it she would have just returned to the flock. But it was its release that gave her the moment to make “the right choice” And his continued release of pressure told her she had done the right thing.

This little dance, as with so many of the everyday quiet conversations my dog has with his sheep ,  doesn’t have the same emotional charge of a head to head confrontation of a bold dog and an “ornery” sheep. We enjoy the drama and get sucked into the building pressure of a big dramatic stand off, stare down. The dog goes in for a grip and the sheep turns tail and runs. Indeed for some people that is what they think of when they think of how a sheep dog controls its flock – through fear and intimidation.

In the heat of a confrontation we can begin to think that the only way to end a stand-off is to put more pressure on, to move in and increase the conflict. And we get caught in the notion that to release pressure, to step back is somehow a loss for us. If we don’t get complete submission, we ourselves are defeated. And yet, sometimes strategically turning our cheek can be the most powerful persuasion of all.